Marriage in Islam =)

As-salaam ‘Alaykum Warahmat Allah Wabarakatuh

People around me, busy talking about their wedding plans. Most of my friends and cousin are getting married soon. Some of them are very happy, and some  of the are not. Marriage in islam is has a wide concept. Is not only about male-female, but its more than that.

In glorious Qur’an, Allah told us many thing about marriage. Morever, the best example ever, our beloved Prophet Muhammad salallah ‘alaih wassalam remind us about baitul-islam (marriage). How important it is. I would like to recall some prophet’s (pbuh) saying about marriage.

A group of three men came to the houses of the wives of the Prophet asking how the Prophet worshipped (Allah), and when they were informed about that, they considered their worship insufficient and said, “Where are we from the Prophet as his past and future sins have been forgiven.” Then one of them said, “I will offer the prayer throughout the night forever.” The other said, “I will fast throughout the year and will not break my fast.” The third said, “I will keep away from the women and will not marry forever.” Allah’s Apostle came to them and said, “Are you the same people who said so-and-so? By Allah, I am more submissive to Allah and more afraid of Him than you; yet I fast and break my fast, I do sleep and I also marry women. So he who does not follow my tradition in religion, is not from me (not one of my followers).”

( Marriage quote from Sahih Bukhari, Sahih Muslim)

Today we can see, some muslim who dont wanna get marriage in order to fulfill their dreams. Some of them said, “I love Allah and I dont need anyone else”. Thats true. Allah is sufficient enough for us, but that doesnt mean we can neglect marriage order. Marriage is not WAJIB, but its sunnah. Prophet PBUH said

“Nikah (marriage) is my Sunna. He who shuns my Sunna is not of me.”

Sadly, there are lots our muslimah sister who dont wanna get married just  because they are afraid to lose their freedom. Marriage is not a prison. And it doesnt mean, but marrying someone u gonna be a prisoner.

The Holy Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) said:

“When a man marries, he has fulfilled half of his religion, so let him fear                                       Allah regarding the remaining half.”                                        ( Marriage quotation from Bayhqi)

This is a very beautiful hadees from our beloved Prophet PBUH. Pious muslimah inshaAllah can fulfill half deen of her husband. What can I say more about this? Every muslimah in this world (inshaAllah) wanna be the best wife ever to their loved ones, not only to gain happiness in this world, but also in hereafter (akhiraah). But we can see changes in this last 2 decades. Women become busy in their job-life and begin neglecting their role as wife and mother (may Allah save us from this). I hope every sister, to make sure they dont forget to fulsill their responsible. I dont mean that every muslimah should be a housewife and spend 24hours in home, doing nothing. Me, myself inshaAllah will become a doctor soon. All i am saying is, make sure u dont forget the responsible.

The Holy Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) said:

`The worst among you are your bachelors!’

( Marriage quotes from Abu Ya’la and Tabarani.)

Its not a curse, in fact its a good reminder. One who married is different than who bachelor. A woman who has married, and have childrens (inshaAllah) gain more reward than one who haven’t. Why i said so? Woman who gave birth, who take care of her child, who serve her husband, who raise her child with good manner and knowledge is more better than who never had a chance to do all this. Yes, Allah knows better who is good and who is bad. And Allah see the intention of every deeds, but… one who get married, will also reward by many title as “mother”, “wife”, “mother-in-law”, “grandmother” and so so on.

Lets check more hadeeth on marriage

1.”If Allah grants a Muslim a righteous wife, this helps him preserve half of his religion (faith). He should, therefore, fear Allah as regards the other half.” ( Marriage quotes from At-Tabarani and Al-Hakim)

2.”Four things bring one joy: a righteous wife, a spacious house, a pious neighbor and a comfortable riding animal.”

3.`The most perfect believer in faith is the one whose character is finest and who is kindest to his wife.’ ( Quotes on marriage from Tirmidhi and Nasa’i) – Masha Allah.. (A great reminder to every brother out there =D )

4.”When a man marries, he has fulfilled half of his religion, so let him fear Allah regarding the remaining half.” ( Marriage quotation from Bayhqi)

5.”O young people! Whoever among you can support awife should marry, for that is more modest for the gaze and safer for your private parts.” ( Marriage quote from Sahih Muslim, Sahih Bukhari)

May Allah reward us with good life partner, ameen.

As Allah promised in glorious qur’an :

Women impure are for men impure, and men impure for women impure and women of purity are for men of purity, and men of purity are for women of purity: these are not affected by what people say: for them there is forgiveness, and a provision honourable (an nur : 26)


=) saffa Islam

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Islamic Ruling on Muta’ah Marriage… Haraam or Halal?

As-salaam ‘alaykum warahmat ALLAH wabarakatuh..

Someone asked me about Mut’ah wedding.Well its not common at some places, but in pakistan and iran, this is a normal issue

Sadly, muslims still confuse and dilemma abt mut’ah nikah. So today, as I read this fatwa and its from someone who really trust-able, its my pleasure to share with all of u =)

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As regards the Islamic ruling on mut`ah marriage, we’d like to cite for you the words of the eminent Muslim scholar, Sheikh Yusuf Al-Qaradawi, in his will known book, The Lawful and Prohibited in Islam. He writes:
Marriage in Islam is a strong binding contract based on the intention of both partners to live together permanently in order to attain, as individuals, the benefit of repose, affection, and mercy mentioned in the Qur’an, as well as to attain the social goal of the reproduction and perpetuation of the human species.

Almighty Allah says: “And Allah has made for you spouses of your own nature, and from your spouses has made for you sons and grandsons….” (An-Nahl: 72)

Now, mut`ah marriage (marriage for the sake of sexual gratification) is a marriage that is contracted by the two parties for a specified period of time in exchange for a specified sum of money. While the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) permitted mut`ah marriage during journeys and military campaigns before the Islamic legislative process was made complete, he later forbade it and made it Haram on a permanent basis.

It was initially permitted because the Muslims were passing through what might be called a period of transition from Jahiliyyah (the pre-Islamic period) to Islam. Fornication was widespread among the Arabs before the advent of Islam. After Islam, when Muslims were required to go on military expeditions, they were under great pressure as a result of being away from their wives for long periods of time. Some of the believers were strong in faith, but others were weak. The weak in faith feared that they would be tempted to commit adultery, which is a major sin, while the staunch in faith, on the contrary, were ready to castrate themselves.

Ibn Mas`ud narrates: “We were on an expedition with the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) and did not have our wives with us, so we asked Allah’s Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) ‘Should we not castrate ourselves?’ (The reason for this request was the desire to preserve their chastity, which was in danger of being affected by their unmet needs.) He forbade us from doing so but permitted us to contract marriage with a woman up to a specified date, giving her a garment as a dowry (Mahr).” (Reported by Al-Bukhari and Muslim)

Thus, mut`ah marriage provided a solution to the dilemma in which both the weak and the strong found themselves. It was also a step toward the final legalization of the complete marital life in which the objectives of permanence, chastity, reproduction, love, and mercy as well as the widening of the circle of relationships through marriage ties were to be realized.

We may recall that the Qur’an adopted a gradual course in prohibiting wine and usury, as these two evils were widespread and deeply rooted in the pre-Islamic society. In the same manner, the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) adopted a gradual course in the matter of sex. First, he permitted mut`ah marriage as an alternative to zina (fornication and adultery), and at the same time coming closer to the permanent marriage relationship. He then prohibited it absolutely, as all and many other Companions reported. Muslim reports this in his Sahih (Authentic Collection of Hadiths), mentioning that Al-Juhani was with the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) at the conquest of Makkah and that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) gave some Muslims permission to contract mut`ah marriages.

Al-Juhani said: “Before leaving Makkah, the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) prohibited it.” In another version: “Allah has made it Haram until the Day of Resurrection.”

The question arises: Is mut`ah marriage absolutely haram, like marriage to one’s own mother or daughter, or is it like the prohibition concerning the eating of pork or dead meat, which becomes permissible in case of dire necessity, the necessity in this case being the fear of committing zina?

The majority of the Companions hold the view that after the completion of the Islamic legislation, mut`ah marriage was made absolutely haram. However, Ibn `Abbas (may Allah be pleased with him) holds a different opinion, permitting it in case of dire necessity. A person asked him about marrying women on a haram basis, and he permitted him to do so. A servant of his then asked, “Is this not under hard conditions, when women are few and the like?” and he replied, “Yes.” (Reported by Al-Bukhari) Later, when Ibn `Abbas saw that people had become lax and were engaging in haram marriages without necessity, he withdrew his ruling and retracted his previous opinion. (Zad Al-Ma`ad, vol. 4, p. 7)

(www.IslamOnline.net)

Having a Girlfriend: Permissible in ISLAM?

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It stands to reason that having a girlfriend is not the manner of a Muslim. It is forbidden for a male Muslim to have a girlfriend, as it is forbidden for a female Muslim to have a boyfriend.

Tackling this point in details, Dr. Muzammil Siddiqi, former president of the Islamic Society of North America (ISNA) states:

 Muslims should have good relations with all people, males as well as females, at school, at work, in you neighborhood etc. You should be kind and courteous to everyone. However, it is not allowed in Islam to take a non-mahram person or persons of the opposite gender as a very close friend. Such friendship often leads to haram. In the Qur’an, Allah mentioned that good men and women are those who marry, do not have fornicating relationships and do not have “paramours” or Akhdan see An-Nisaa’: 25, Al-Ma’idah: 5).

Akhdan are “sweethearts” or for a man a “mistress” and for a woman a “lover”. The Prophet, peace and blessings be upom him, is reported to have stated that “whenever two strangers of the opposite gender are alone with each other, Satan becomes the third one between them.” (At-Tirmidhi)”

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So it is not allowed for a Muslim boy to have a girlfriend or for a Muslim girl to have a boyfriend. Howsoever pure your intentions may be, the danger is that it will lead you to sin. Or at least you will be alone with each other and spend more time together.

Thus, you should be friendly with your classmates, boys and girls both; but do not take a girl as your intimate friend. Of course, homosexuality is also forbidden in Islam. So do not take a boy either as your intimate friend in the “gay sense” of the word.

If your friend, not girlfriend, is interested in Islam, by all means help her to become Muslim. Give her the Islamic books and ask her to attend Islamic meetings and lectures. Let her accept Islam by her own will. Do not force her or put any pressure on her to become Muslim. May Allah bless you and keep you on the right path.

Shedding more light on this, the eminent Muslim scholar, Sheikh Muhammad Al-Hanooti, member of the North American Fiqh Council, states:

A friendship wth the opposite sex is not of Islam. It used to be of the Jahiliyyah (pre-Islamic era) style of life. A friendship of the two sexes can never be safe or sex-free. I agree that in some exceptional cases, it could be innocent. But, a law is usually amended for social regulations. There is no law to be customized for a certain person or few people.

The Qur’an and Sunnah guidance for the sexes dealing with each other has a main major issue for which Islam has set principles and rules to govern. It is the desire and lust. The Qur’an prohibits anything that motivates one’s heart in a seductive way towards the other. The Qur’an tells a woman when she speaks to a man to speak in a way that doesn’t show any interest in him lest he should feel seduced to build up an unhealthy relationship. If there is a possibility in any kind of action that it could lead by some percentage into catastrophe, no one will ever take that risk. I can say what you call friendship could have some percentage of leading into haram. How would you go to that risk whereas if a doctor says to you an operation of a certain organ could lead you into death? You would say I don’t want to risk my life, but I will take the pain.

Firstly, this is a deen but not a man’s opinion. Lastly, if you take it, you certainly will be on the safe side. If you want to follow reason, reason has a lot of defects and sometimes we cannot draw the line to know who is sane and who is insane. Sometimes you cannot know which is which.

(www.IslamOnline.Net)

~Talking with Members of OPPOSITE SEX?! What Islam says about this?~

It is to be stressed first of all that Muslims, men and women, must observe haya’ (shyness or modesty) in all their correspondence and conversations. Islam does not forbid women from talking to men, nor men to women if the situation calls for it and the conversation abides by the boundaries of Islamic Shari`ah.

In response to the question in point, the European Council for Fatwa and Research issued the following Fatwa:

 In the authentic Hadith of the Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him), he said:

“Shyness is from iman.” (Reported by al-Bukhari and Muslim)

In another Hadith: “Shyness brings only good.” (Reported by al-Bukhari and Muslim)

This shyness is a beautiful manner for both men and women, but more so for women, because it agrees with their feminine nature, which is why women do not initiate a conversation with strange men.
However, traditions and customs govern this matter, and these change from one country to another, from one time to another and from one situation to another.

Nevertheless, it is important to realize that Islam does not forbid women from talking to men, nor men to women if the situation calls and the conversation abides by the boundaries of Islamic Shari`ah. Allah addressed the wives of the Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him):

[O wives of the Prophet! You are not like any other women. If you keep your duty to Allah, then be not soft in speech, lest he in whose heart is a disease should be moved with desire, but speak in an honorable manner.] (Al-Ahzab 33: 32)

Thus, despite the special position and laws which govern them alone and which place more restrictions upon them than any other, Islam did not prevent the wives of the Prophet from speech, but forbid them to speak in such a way which would move those with illness in their hearts with desire and lust.

However, honorable and reasonable speech falls within Islam as stated by the previous verse.There are many Hadiths which confirm the permissibility of men greeting women and women greeting men, as well as the lawfulness of men visiting sick women and vice versa.However, this does not imply the lifting of all boundaries so that women start speaking to all men who come and go or that men start speaking to all women, as this is rejected by logic and good taste before being rejected by Islam. It is permissible for a woman to speak to a male relative, a teacher, a neighbor, a supervisor at work, and others according to the requirements and needs of every day life and complex relations amongst people in our days, as long as trust is established, troubles (fitnah) are restrained, and conditions are normal.Indeed, the custom in many Islamic countries is for men to greet women and for women to greet men when they meet. They also exchange conversation (honorable speech) regarding important and relevant matters, all with the approval of fathers, husbands and brothers as well as the scholars.We do not deny that some countries have very strict traditions regarding women so that they become more like prisoners in their own homes until death comes to them. However, even though some scholars may agree with this, it remains that clear, covert and correct legal evidence contradicts these traditions in addition to the objectives of Shari`ah, the interests of mankind, and the development of age and people.

Source : European Council for Fatwa and Research (IslamOnline.Net)

*PIOUS WIFE*

Marriage to her is one half of the deen,
The benefit Allah has put in her is yet to be seen.
She wears her hijab for her Lord, to please and obey,
She turns to Allah for salaah at least five times each day.

She prays in the night and makes sure to awake you,
And sprinkles you with water if sleep should overtake you.
She protects her chastity with firmness because she does not desire,
To displease Allah and end up in the tormenting fire.

She asks the people who know when matters need to be rectified,
She is not blinded by self righteousness and foolish pride.
She is humble and kind to her husband as Allah has commanded,
Never leaving him alone, isolated, nor stranded.

She opens her mouth only to say what is best,
Not questioning her husband when he makes a request.
She takes care of herself and never ceases to try,
To beautify herself so to please his eye.

She is a pleasure Allah has given to us in this life,
Be thankful to Allaah alone for His blessing,

Pious Wife