Having a Girlfriend: Permissible in ISLAM?

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It stands to reason that having a girlfriend is not the manner of a Muslim. It is forbidden for a male Muslim to have a girlfriend, as it is forbidden for a female Muslim to have a boyfriend.

Tackling this point in details, Dr. Muzammil Siddiqi, former president of the Islamic Society of North America (ISNA) states:

 Muslims should have good relations with all people, males as well as females, at school, at work, in you neighborhood etc. You should be kind and courteous to everyone. However, it is not allowed in Islam to take a non-mahram person or persons of the opposite gender as a very close friend. Such friendship often leads to haram. In the Qur’an, Allah mentioned that good men and women are those who marry, do not have fornicating relationships and do not have “paramours” or Akhdan see An-Nisaa’: 25, Al-Ma’idah: 5).

Akhdan are “sweethearts” or for a man a “mistress” and for a woman a “lover”. The Prophet, peace and blessings be upom him, is reported to have stated that “whenever two strangers of the opposite gender are alone with each other, Satan becomes the third one between them.” (At-Tirmidhi)”

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So it is not allowed for a Muslim boy to have a girlfriend or for a Muslim girl to have a boyfriend. Howsoever pure your intentions may be, the danger is that it will lead you to sin. Or at least you will be alone with each other and spend more time together.

Thus, you should be friendly with your classmates, boys and girls both; but do not take a girl as your intimate friend. Of course, homosexuality is also forbidden in Islam. So do not take a boy either as your intimate friend in the “gay sense” of the word.

If your friend, not girlfriend, is interested in Islam, by all means help her to become Muslim. Give her the Islamic books and ask her to attend Islamic meetings and lectures. Let her accept Islam by her own will. Do not force her or put any pressure on her to become Muslim. May Allah bless you and keep you on the right path.

Shedding more light on this, the eminent Muslim scholar, Sheikh Muhammad Al-Hanooti, member of the North American Fiqh Council, states:

A friendship wth the opposite sex is not of Islam. It used to be of the Jahiliyyah (pre-Islamic era) style of life. A friendship of the two sexes can never be safe or sex-free. I agree that in some exceptional cases, it could be innocent. But, a law is usually amended for social regulations. There is no law to be customized for a certain person or few people.

The Qur’an and Sunnah guidance for the sexes dealing with each other has a main major issue for which Islam has set principles and rules to govern. It is the desire and lust. The Qur’an prohibits anything that motivates one’s heart in a seductive way towards the other. The Qur’an tells a woman when she speaks to a man to speak in a way that doesn’t show any interest in him lest he should feel seduced to build up an unhealthy relationship. If there is a possibility in any kind of action that it could lead by some percentage into catastrophe, no one will ever take that risk. I can say what you call friendship could have some percentage of leading into haram. How would you go to that risk whereas if a doctor says to you an operation of a certain organ could lead you into death? You would say I don’t want to risk my life, but I will take the pain.

Firstly, this is a deen but not a man’s opinion. Lastly, if you take it, you certainly will be on the safe side. If you want to follow reason, reason has a lot of defects and sometimes we cannot draw the line to know who is sane and who is insane. Sometimes you cannot know which is which.

(www.IslamOnline.Net)

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~Talking with Members of OPPOSITE SEX?! What Islam says about this?~

It is to be stressed first of all that Muslims, men and women, must observe haya’ (shyness or modesty) in all their correspondence and conversations. Islam does not forbid women from talking to men, nor men to women if the situation calls for it and the conversation abides by the boundaries of Islamic Shari`ah.

In response to the question in point, the European Council for Fatwa and Research issued the following Fatwa:

 In the authentic Hadith of the Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him), he said:

“Shyness is from iman.” (Reported by al-Bukhari and Muslim)

In another Hadith: “Shyness brings only good.” (Reported by al-Bukhari and Muslim)

This shyness is a beautiful manner for both men and women, but more so for women, because it agrees with their feminine nature, which is why women do not initiate a conversation with strange men.
However, traditions and customs govern this matter, and these change from one country to another, from one time to another and from one situation to another.

Nevertheless, it is important to realize that Islam does not forbid women from talking to men, nor men to women if the situation calls and the conversation abides by the boundaries of Islamic Shari`ah. Allah addressed the wives of the Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him):

[O wives of the Prophet! You are not like any other women. If you keep your duty to Allah, then be not soft in speech, lest he in whose heart is a disease should be moved with desire, but speak in an honorable manner.] (Al-Ahzab 33: 32)

Thus, despite the special position and laws which govern them alone and which place more restrictions upon them than any other, Islam did not prevent the wives of the Prophet from speech, but forbid them to speak in such a way which would move those with illness in their hearts with desire and lust.

However, honorable and reasonable speech falls within Islam as stated by the previous verse.There are many Hadiths which confirm the permissibility of men greeting women and women greeting men, as well as the lawfulness of men visiting sick women and vice versa.However, this does not imply the lifting of all boundaries so that women start speaking to all men who come and go or that men start speaking to all women, as this is rejected by logic and good taste before being rejected by Islam. It is permissible for a woman to speak to a male relative, a teacher, a neighbor, a supervisor at work, and others according to the requirements and needs of every day life and complex relations amongst people in our days, as long as trust is established, troubles (fitnah) are restrained, and conditions are normal.Indeed, the custom in many Islamic countries is for men to greet women and for women to greet men when they meet. They also exchange conversation (honorable speech) regarding important and relevant matters, all with the approval of fathers, husbands and brothers as well as the scholars.We do not deny that some countries have very strict traditions regarding women so that they become more like prisoners in their own homes until death comes to them. However, even though some scholars may agree with this, it remains that clear, covert and correct legal evidence contradicts these traditions in addition to the objectives of Shari`ah, the interests of mankind, and the development of age and people.

Source : European Council for Fatwa and Research (IslamOnline.Net)